There are many reasons why someone might want the privacy and untraceability of a second, secret phone – often called a burner phone. While there are legitimate and practical uses, the term usually brings to mind unfaithful partners, drug dealers, and other shady characters.
But what about your own child?
Faced with their parents’ monitoring and screen time restrictions, a teenager might resort to buying secret, second phones to covertly continue their online social lives. The obvious risks of a child secretly using an unrestricted, untraceable device make burner phones yet another digital concern for parents to be vigilant about.
What is a burner phone?
A burner phone, sometimes called a “burner,” is typically a prepaid phone that can be purchased cheaply at mass retailers like Walmart or Target. They are typically purchased with cash, come with prepaid minutes (pay-as-you-go), and don’t require a contract with a service provider or need any form of legal identification verification at the point of sale. The term “burner phone” comes from the fact that these phones are often discarded, or “burnt” after they’ve served their purpose.
Thanks to references in pop culture, burner phones have earned a reputation for their role in criminal activities, such as in the TV series Breaking Bad, as well as being a symbol of secrecy in extramarital affairs, as seen in Desperate Housewives. Burner phones are often used for shady activities, but they have legitimate purposes too. For example, journalists and undercover law enforcement agents might use burner phones to protect their identity and avoid being tracked, while travelers to high-crime areas might use one during their trip to avoid losing their main phone.
Burner phones don’t have to be cheap, basic phones either; you can easily get prepaid Android phones, iPhones, and other smartphones.
What are trap phones?
A term mostly used in U.S. rap and street culture, a trap phone is a type of burner phone, more commonly associated with drug dealing. The term “trap” comes from “trap house,” a residence used for selling drugs.
Other names for a burner phone include a prepaid phone, disposable phone, throwaway phone, ghost phone, and side phone.
Are burner phones legal?
Burner phones are legal in most countries; they are just prepaid, disposable phones that can be purchased without a contract or identification verification. As long as they’re not used for criminal activities, there’s no legal issue with owning or using a burner phone.
Some countries, however, have strict regulations that make it hard to buy or use a burner phone. For example, in India, Russia, and China, SIM cards must be registered with governmental authorities.
Why might my child be using a burner phone?
If your child is hiding a second phone from you, chances are they’re not using it for legitimate reasons. Here are a few motives they might have for owning and using a burner phone – some more concerning than others.
As a backup if their main phone is taken away
It’s common for parents to threaten to confiscate their children’s phones as punishment or to enforce screen time limits. In response, kids might prepare themselves by keeping a burner phone.
To get around parental controls
If you’ve installed parental control tools like Qustodio on your child’s device, they might use a burner phone to continue their online activities without the monitoring and safeguards you’ve put in place – such as screen time limits or app blocking.
To keep their social lives secret
While at times it can be frustrating for parents, it’s normal for teenagers to seek privacy and be tight-lipped about their social lives. Some might even use a secret phone to keep in touch with friends and love interests – away from the watchful eyes of parents or monitoring tools.
To cyberbully or engage in risky online behavior
Although we don’t like to imagine our kids causing harm to others, it can happen, and a burner phone allows them to bully or spread hate with less risk of being caught. If you think your child might be harassing others online, take a look at this insightful article by child psychologist Dr. Beurkens: My child is a cyberbully: What should I do?
A burner phone could also be used to hide inappropriate, and potentially dangerous, relationships from parents and, in extreme cases, to engage in illegal activities like buying drugs.
How to find out if someone has a burner phone
Since a burner phone is meant to be kept secret, it’s unlikely that your child will tell you they’re using one, especially if it’s to bypass parental controls or for more concerning reasons. Aside from catching them using an unfamiliar phone red-handed, there are other ways you can confirm your suspicions.
Although their burner phone won’t have parental controls, you can use the Qustodio Parents app to monitor changes in usage on their primary phone. Drastic shifts in screen time habits could indicate they’re using a second device. For example, if they typically spend a couple of hours on Snapchat each day and that suddenly drops to zero, that could be an indication they’re using the app on another phone. Of course, there are other reasons why they might be using an app less – such as simply losing interest – so it’s important to talk to them before jumping to conclusions.
You can also check your home’s Wi-Fi network for unknown devices. Most modern routers allow you to view a list of connected devices by logging into the router’s web interface. However, this method is only useful if they’re using Wi-Fi at home – it won’t detect a device using prepaid data
I found out my teen has a burner phone. What should I do?
Discovering that your child has been hiding a secret phone might be disappointing, but it’s important to approach the situation calmly and without accusations.
1. Start an open conversation
Let them know you’re not upset, but you’re concerned and want to understand why they feel the need to hide a second phone from you.
2. Emphasize trust and safety rather than punishment
It may be tempting to reprimand your child for using a secret phone, but doing so could shut down communication between you. Instead, let your child know that your main concern is their wellbeing, and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings openly, reassuring them that they won’t be punished for being honest.
Remind them that you monitor their device, not to be a spy, but to help them stay safe online. An unmonitored phone could expose them to harmful content and dangerous people, such as online predators and cyberbullies.
3. Reconsider screen time boundaries
Finding out your teen has a secret phone might prompt you to reassess device rules. If they’ve resorted to using a burner phone for more privacy or because they feel their screen time is too limited, it could open up a conversation about the rules and restrictions currently in place. You might consider revising screen time limits or adjusting message alerts to help keep your child safe while respecting their needs and privacy.
Some teenagers turn to burner phones to bypass parental controls, maintain private relationships, or engage in risky online behavior with less chance of being caught. If you suspect your child has a second phone, it’s best to approach the situation with empathy and understanding rather than punishment. By encouraging open conversations and helping them recognize the risks of using an unmonitored device, you can better support their digital wellbeing in the long run.
